


Easy enough

by blablatruc



Series: Easy universe [1]
Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-26 18:12:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6250228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blablatruc/pseuds/blablatruc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm not happy about how I wrote this one, but I it is what it is.</p></blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Things have always come easily to her. She didn’t do difficult.  
She played the sports she loved and was naturally talented for, so much so that it was almost effortless for her to be better than anybody else on the field, boy or a girl. And she was easy to get along with. Maybe because she was second youngest in the family of four kids, or maybe it was that she really didn’t care much about things to get into it with other people. Maybe it was both. She had that easy going nature that people liked, and even though she was perceived as weird at times, she didn’t really care. All that mattered to her was that she was allowed to do things she liked, and to do them in her own way, and she never asked for permission for either. 

She always thought that she was blessed with a gift - to be great at something she loved the most, and that she was fortunate enough to meet the people along the way who happen to like her quirky nature. It never occurred to her that it was a quality she developed, her ability to make anybody like her. Because everything came easily for her. And she was spoiled by it of course. And she didn’t know it of course. She never fully realized how rare it is to get anything you want almost without trying. 

When she first realized she liked girls, she was 12 years old. She told her mother as much first chance she got, cause she always did whatever she wanted and she never pretended to feel things she’s not feeling or vice versa. So when her mom tried to tell her that she might be confused, and that those kinds of feelings will pass when she gets a bit older, she just shrugged and said “No they won’t.” She was right of course, and she just behaved like it was the most natural thing in the world, she figured if she’s feeling it, than it must be natural, and she never even considered other peoples’ opinion about it. It was her business who she liked, and she never cared about other peoples’ preferences. So her parents were ok with it, mostly because she didn’t give them any choice in the matter. 

Her parents knew she would be their wild child since she was old enough to speak, and as much as her dad was scared for her, and tried to make her do things the regular way, you could say, her mother was charmed by it. She loved all of her kids of course, but she was charmed by Tobin, in a way that made her want to understand her second to last, strange wild child. So she did just that. Every time her father tried to reason with her, to tell her she has to wear shin guards if she doesn’t want to get hurt, that she has to wear shoes when she’s not in their house, that she stop going to school on her skateboard, her mother would just tell him to leave her be. And so he did. She was in her early teen years and she had the freedom to be whatever she wanted to be. Her mother had known that her kid was not a troublemaker, so all through high school she had a free reign over her own activities. When she decided to not play on her varsity soccer team her senior year, instead opting to train with boys team, nobody even paid attention. She has already committed to University of North Carolina, her dream school since she was 9. 

So maybe saying everything came easy for her is even the understatement. 

Charming girls was easier than charming her mom, if that was even possible. Getting into girls pants was a child’s play for her. Not that girls really threw themselves at her, but there was enough of them to last her 4 years of college. She wasn’t smug about it, not publicly anyway, though she has pat herself on the back a few times. She never really fell in love though; she never pined for someone, never felt what all those novels were all about, so she figured she was lucky in that sense too. 

All of that changed when she met Christen Press.

Tobin was part of Senior USWNT since she was a teenager, and she never once had a crush on her teammate or anything similar to that. She was professional about soccer, and she was friendly with all of her teammates, so in her mind there was no place for romance there.

And she had a disciplined mind, or so she heard her father describe her a few times.  
So when her mind started acting out about Christen Press she tried to discipline it. She avoided the girl like the plague, she never made an eye contact with her, and she behaved in such way that for the first time in her life somebody felt unwanted in her company. But she needed to protect herself, so she had to be selfish. At least that’s what she was telling herself every time she saw confusion and hurt on Christens face.

 

Because everybody knew her as easy going and easy to get along with, it was hurtful for a young newbie striker to wrap her head around what she could’ve possibly done to piss off the most liked person on the team. It couldn’t be about her sitting in her seat on the bus her first today of camp, could it? Even Alex Morgan was nice about it, and she wasn’t famous for being the easiest person to get along with according to all of her NT teammates. It’s like they are rubbing it in, that she is apparently the only person on this planet that Tobin Heath doesn’t like. The only thing good about this situation, Christen figures, is that it has to end. She will not be going to the Olympics, so she just has to keep doing what she’s doing for a few more weeks, then she can go back to her girlfriend and to her teammates in Sweden, and she can start forgetting the feeling of always being on the outside looking in, never being a part of a cool crew. Whatever, she doesn’t care. 

But it’s just her luck that she is picked as an alternate, so she gets to be awkward for a few more months. Yay.  
So she sucked it up, hanged out with Kelley and tried to make a most of the situation in which she was a part of the team, but not really. Story of her life, she thinks.  
So on the night the team, minus her of course, wins the gold medal, nobody is more surprised than her when she gets the undivided attention of one and only Tobin Heath. It starts off harmless enough just the smile across the bar they’ve chosen to celebrate in. Then, and she’s not really sure how, but Tobin is behind her, so she’s trapped between the bar and Tobin, middy with some multicolored drinks in her hands, giving her the glass and saying “Drink up.”  
She does what she’s told, multiple times actually, and she doesn’t know how, but she’s having a great time with the person who, outside of the pitch, she hasn't exchange more than three sentences. One of them being “Hi, I’m Tobin Heath.” 

When Tobin starts getting closer to her, she doesn’t think much of it, mostly cause she’s really drunk. When Tobin puts her hands on her waist, she starts to back away a little, but not completely. Not far enough apparently, cause, Tobin then reaches around her and close her hands around her back, and she says, looking Christen straight in the eyes:  
“What, you don’t wanna dance with me?” 

And she’s pouting. She’s pouting so adorably, that Christen catches herself thinking how adorable Tobin is, and she’s too drunk to ask herself where that came from. They are already dancing by the time Christen is able to catch up with her own thoughts, and she wanders is it because she’s that drunk or is Tobin Heath actually that smooth. By the end of the second song Tobins hands are all over her, and she’s just then starting to remember that she has a girlfriend. It didn’t even occur to her that Tobin is trying to get into her pants until her hands started roaming all over her ass. 

When Tobin kisses her for the first time, it feels so good that she forgets herself for a few seconds. She forgets that she has a girlfriend, she forgets that that’s the same girl who ignored her for months, she forgets that they are in public and that PDA is not something she’s into. But then she jumps from Tobins grasp so suddenly that she even startles herself, let alone Tobin. The look she receives from the girl is almost unreadable to her. It’s not hurt or embarrassment, it almost looks like she’s surprised. And then she turns around and runs before she does something stupid like kiss the middy senseless.

That’s the first time that something didn’t come easily to Tobin Heath.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 

They don’t see each other for months after that. Not long enough to forget what happened, though. When they first see one another, its January camp, and though one would think that things would be awkward between them, they’re not. Things are much, much worse. They are acting like they don’t know each other, and they are not subtle about it. At all. So much so that Kelley O’Hara, a fairly oblivious human being is noticing it. And because she is nosy as fuck when she sniffs a good piece of gossip, she’s all over it in a heartbeat. 

First, she starts with Tobin. She figures, the girl is too cool to make up lies, she’s just going to say what she wants and how she feels without the second thought. And she’s dead wrong. Tobin is acting as if she doesn’t understand English, and ok, Kelley admits, the girl can be weird at times, but not this weird. 

So when Kelley straight up asks her “Did you fuck her or something, cause you are starting to freak me out”, Tobin starts to tap her foot to the ground so fast, Kelley thinks she’s having a stroke, or some sort of seizure. 

“No, of course I didn’t fuck her, what’s wrong with you?” Tobin asks, and then she feels something she doesn’t feel often or at all actually. She feels insecure. So, she follows previous question with another one.  
“Why, did she say something? Did she say I tried?”

 

Kelley knows in that very moment that she has sniffed out gold. But she’s playing it cool, she lets Tobin off the hook for the time being.  
“No, I didn’t talk about it with her; I figured you’d give me a straight answer. And I was right. I got to go, I have to facetime with my mom. See you later.” 

And that’s when Tobin knows she’s fucked, that Kelley is onto her. Whatever she can be onto, cause frankly, even Tobin doesn’t know what the fuck is going on. But she’s not going to stress about it, she’s going to do what she always does when she has some spare time and a few confusing thoughts. She’s going to go play with the ball.

When she gets to the pitch, first thought that pops in her head is – Murphy’s Law. Of course Christen is going to be here. She watches the girl shoot on goal a dozen times before she decides to approach her. 

“Hey.” Well that’s original, she thinks to herself. And then she thinks, why would I want to be original, I don’t care what she thinks. And while she has this super interesting dialog with herself, she misses the blush forming on Christens cheeks.

“Hi” is all Christen manages to say back. 

Wow she’s cute is going on repeat in Tobins brain, while she tries not to look the girl in front of her like a piece of meat. A very tasty piece of meat. Tobin is not often interested in girls this way, she usually hangs with girls, talk them up and then if it happens it happens. And it usually does happen, but she’s not the one to brag. 

But this is different, it’s almost primal; it’s completely unfamiliar to her, the way she wants to have the girl in front of her. Just by looking at her, without talking to her almost at all, she wants her. It freaks her out and it intrigues her at the same time. 

“So you haven’t had enough practice today?” Tobin asks, trying to sound friendly.

“Well, not all of us are born to play this sport, some have to work extra hard to be any good.” Christen knows she sounds unsecure and a little bit to honest considering who she’s talking to. But she can’t help it, she’s too tired to try and pretend.  
“You’re very good. I’d say you’re a natural born striker.” Tobin is being honest also; she always is when it comes to soccer. When it comes to anything really. But still, she whats brunette to believe her.  
“There’s no such a thing you know. Not really. Strikers just practice shooting the ball on goal more often than the rest of you. That’s the case when it comes to me at least.” It’s surprising how easily she can talk to the girl who ignored her, then tried to fuck her, then proceeded to ignore her some more. 

“Well you might b right, I was never that into shooting on goal, I was always more interested in screwing around with the ball instead.”

“You are the most talented person I’ve ever met. You’re magic.” The words escape her before she can filter them through her brain. 

This blush Tobin doesn’t miss. But she ignores it. She is a kind person after all.

“I can’t wait for your first cap. You’re gonna score, I’m sure of it. You’re natural, trust me.” Tobin gives her the biggest smile, and then she starts playing with the ball. And Christen thinks while she watches her, that yes, Tobin Heath is magic.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 

Her first cap happens about 3 weeks after their conversation on the pitch. In those three weeks they try to behave like normal people around each other. Most people would look at them and see two teammates without a lot in common, but who are friendly enough with one another. But not Kelley, now she knows something is fishy. She knows both of them well enough to know that Tobin is not actually as weird as she seems to be when around Christen, and she knows that Christen is awkward, but she is usually almost fully functional around people. So when Tobin becomes just a little bit weirder when Press is around, and at the same time Press gets so awkward it’s painful for Kelley to watch, she decides to corner Christen and make her spill the beans. 

So she asks Press to come and get a cup of coffee with her, and in the middle of a conversation about how much Christen wants that first cap to happen, and how Vero, Christens girlfriend is so excited for her, how supportive she has been in the last couple of weeks, since she saw her last. How happy she makes her. In the middle of that conversation she just casually says “So, Tobin wants to jump your bones.” 

And Christen is happy that she had just swallowed her sip of coffee, otherwise she would’ve spit it all over their table.

“What? Did she tell you that? We just kissed. Just once. I kissed her back for just a second, so it doesn’t really count, but does she talk about me, what does she say..?” She’s all over the place, saying things nobody asked her about, but she is caught off guard completely, so she reveals to Kelley so much more than defender expected. And she can’t keep a grin off her face, tough she manages not to fist pump cause of her accomplishment. 

“Wow, slow down. When did that happen? I never saw you two exchange more than a sentence off the field.” Kelley is trying to be a good friend; she can see how bothered Christen is by this situation with Tobin.

“Remember the celebration after we won the Olympic gold? Well, you probably don’t, seeing you were drunk off your ass, but anyways, Tobin started talking to me, and then we danced to a couple of songs, she was being all smiley and friendly, but then she started getting closer and she kissed me. And i kissed her back. But just for a few seconds, I swear. And then I ran away. We haven’t spoken with each other until a few days ago actually. But now we’re trying to get past this awkwardness, but I guess it’s gonna take some time.” 

“Well I’ll be damned, somebody actually turned down the Panty Dropper Heath. I wish I saw that one to be honest.” Kelley is beyond amused at this point, she’s grinning so wide that she earns the famous Press glare. 

“You’re a jerk. So wait, is that her actual nickname, or are you just being your usual gross self?”

“Well it’s not her official nickname, but she had more pussy than she knew what to do with, that’s for sure.” Kelley speaks like a jerk jock from her good old Stanford days, just like Christen remembers her. But she’s a good person and a great friend, so Christen knows she’s doing it just to relax her, cause Kelley knows her well enough to know that she’s freaking out, that she can’t let anything go, let alone a potentially long lasting awkward situation with the person she’s suppose to be working for years to come. So she appreciates Kelley’s humor, even though she doesn’t like the fact that Tobin apparently tried to play her. 

“So she’s a player?” Christen asks, even though it’s none of her business. 

“Not really a player, she just doesn’t have to try very hard to get the girl. She’s just lucky, I guess, that people like her sort of weird.” Kelley says to her friend, in the back of her head thinking if she should be talking about Tobins private stuff. So she stops. She asks Press some more about Europe and Vero as they start walking back to their hotel.

 

When they arrive to the hotel they bump into Tobin of course. She’s not alone, she’s with ARod and Cheney, and as Tobin tries to just nod her head and walk past them without proper greeting, Cheney stops to say hallo. 

“Hey guys, you wanna grab some coffee with us?” Lauren asks them.

“Nope, we’re just coming back from the coffee shop. I got to go to my room, I’m already late, I was supposed to call my sister 20 minutes ago.” Kelley says as she rushes through lobby to the elevator. 

“Well, are you up to one more cup? I know Tobin would really like if you’d join us.” ARod says with the straight face, though her eyes have a sparkle in them that make Christen glue her gaze to the floor.

When she looks up, after what it feels like an eternity, she looks at Tobin and she actually smirks at her. She’s pissed off; she wants to bite Tobins head off. Where does she get off talking to her friends about her, all the while almost completely ignoring her. 

“I really can’t, but have fun guys.” is all that she says, even though she would have plenty more to say if she had the courage to be a smart ass she is inside of her head. 

 

She scores 2 goals her first cap for the National team. Second one she scores after Tobins assist, and for some reason she’s so excited about it that she doesn’t really pay attention to any other teammate, she goes looking for Tobin, wanting a hug from her. Their hug is longer than it needs to be, and neither of them lets go until Abby gets in the mix. But afterwards, after game, everybody is all over her, hugging her and congratulating her, but Tobin is keeping her distance, she doesn’t even look at her, and everything is the same as it was before the hug.

Confronting someone is not something Christen does; she doesn’t like getting into anybodies face, but she is so ticked off by Tobins aloofness that she addresses it as soon as she sees Tobin alone the next day after practice.

“What’s your problem with me? Does my presence bother you so much, that you just have to avoid me at all costs? Did I bruise your ego that night at the bar? Like, you avoid me, but then your friend tells me you want to hang out with me? Was that some sort of a joke? Was she trying to push your buttons? Or mine?”

Through all of these questions, Tobin looks everywhere else but at the person who is asking them.

“Would you please look at me?”

“You’re distracting me.” Tobin finally speaks.

“I’m distracting you?”

“Well, yea, when I look at you. So I try not to. Look at you that is.”

“What do you mean when you look at me?”

“When I look at you I can’t think of anything else except how beautiful you look, so on the pitch I try not to get distracted, and off the pitch I try not to let anyone know what looking at you does to me. But ARod knows me too well I guess. She was pushing my buttons by the way, but I try not to let her, so I smiled even though I wanted to disappear from the face of the planet.” 

“I have a girlfriend.”

“I know.” Tobin says as she approaches the striker.

“I can’t have you saying that stuff to me.” Christens voice is almost a whisper.

“Why not? It’s not like you’re doing anything wrong. “She gets even closer as she’s saying this.

“Cause when you say stuff like that I want to. I want to do something wrong.” This part she actually does whisper.

And then Tobins nose is a few millimeters from Christens. They look one another straight in the eyes. They both know they want to kiss each other. They both know they are not going to.  
And then Tobin runs her fingers down Christens cheek, down her neck, her shoulder, until their fingers interlock. And as fast as they grip each others’ hand, they let go. 

 

Tobin walks away, the other girl too stunned to move.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 

When she goes back to Sweden, she jumps her girlfriend before she even enters the house. They have sex on every surface in the living room and bathroom, and then they finally make it to bedroom where they just pass out. 

In the morning when she wakes up she feels almost hungover, she has a pounding headache and a guilty conscience. She thinks about telling her girlfriend everything that happened, but what would she say? Nothing really did happen, she didn’t cheat, she has just had a conversation with her teammate about a crush. Not even that. It wasn’t really a conversation, and nobody talked about crushes or anything. But she feels as though she did cheat. Because she wanted to. Because if Tobin had pushed her just a little, she probably would have. 

 

So she did the only thing that she thought would make her feel somewhat better. She was going to be better girlfriend than she ever was before, she’s going to be more affectionate, she’s going to initiate sex more often, not that she didn’t do all of those things before. But now she will be even more focused on giving her girl all the attention she deserved, and she will stop thinking about her NT teammate, she will stop remembering how much one brief moment of holding hands with Tobin made her question her happy, easy relationship with the best person she has ever met.

But she over did it. At least she assumes that when Vero askes her “Not that I’m complaining, but what’s up with you wanting to have sex 5 times a day”  
Its in Christens nature to panic when things don’t go according to her plan, so she gets defensive od course.  
“What, I can’t be horny after not seeing you for weeks? Is there an amount of sex that is acceptable to you, or are we just suppose to so it when you want it? “  
And Vero is confused, she doesn’t know what to say. She was actually happy with how affectionate and loving Christen has been, she just wanted to make sure that everything was alright with her girl.  
“Where did that came from? That’s not at all what I wanted to say, I was just making sure that you were alright. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you”

Christen starts crying before Vero even finishes her apology, her guilt becomes almost overwhelming. And as Vero starts hugging her repeating how sorry she is Christens sobs become louder and louder.

She wakes up not remembering when she fell asleep. She can smell breakfast being made, and she goes to the kitchen and hugs the girl she knows she doesn’t deserve.  
“I’m sorry about last night, I don’t know what came over me. I guess I need to learn to deal with the stress better. I love you.” She says and she means it. She really does.  
“Its OK babe, I just want us to be good, don’t stress out about it.” She says as she kisses her cheek then her neck.

They make love that morning, and for the first time since she came back home, her thoughts are completely Tobin Heath free.

When Tobin Heath signs for PSG, she is happy as a kid on Christmas morning. She’s excited she gets to play in Europe, in Champions League, with some of the best players in female game.  
Her new teammates are all going out of their way to make her feel welcomed, including taking her to the club the first weekend she’s there. She’s her usual charming self, the way she always is unless it involves Christen Press of course. She checks out a few girls, just to entertain herself, but doesn’t do much more than that. When she starts talking with her new teammate, the midfielder she thinks is maybe the best on he position in the world, she surprised by the fact that she has so much in common with the girl outside of football.  
As the topics of conversations pass by, she doesn’t even register that she has spent hours talking with the girl and ignoring everybody else around her. They like the same music, same movies, same food, they prey to the same God. They love the game of football with the same intensity.  
Shirley asks her if she wants to hang out with her on Sunday, offering to show her around Paris and Tobin is saying yes before Shirley even finishes asking the question. She enjoys the easiness of it all, just the way she likes it, just the way her life has always been with the exception of one Christen Press of course.  
And there she is popping up in her head when she’s having a great time with the great girl, who is super cute by the way.  
But she won't let it ruin her perfectly nice night out. So when the time comes for her to say goodnight, she kisses Shirley on the cheek, and she gives her brief but tight hug, saying she’s looking forward seeing her tomorrow. 

They spend the day exploring the most beautiful city in the World, and Tobin is not sure if its the scenery that makes this date feel more romantic than she expected. By the end of the day she’s dead tired, but she can't remember the last time she clicked with someone this fast. She loves the feeling of ease, she loves that having a conversation with this girl doesn’t feel like pulling teeth.

They kiss for the first time an the end of that day, Tobin being the one who initiates it. And when the kiss ends they are both grinning at each other, their foreheads pressed together. And Tobin is happy. This is how things are suppose to be, she figures. Easy, effortless, comfortable. 

But still, after she enters her new apartment, when she lays on her bed and just before she falls a sleep, she can’t help thinking about if Christen is thinking of her.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 

 

Algarve Cup is the first tournament Christen gets to play and she’s feeling like she finally is a part of the team. Until now she felt like her purpose was to make sure the team gets a good practice, like she was their sparing partner or something. When she plays her first match on the tournament, she comes in form the bench and she doesn’t score. She’s disappointed, like she usually is when she doesn’t score, but then she hears a rumour that manages to take her mind completely from the game she just played. 

 

What she hears from Kelley is that Tobin has gone and found herself a girlfriend in less then a week after she signed for PSG.  
She knows she shouldn’t care, that it shouldn’t bother her at all. But it does, it angers her, it makes her feel stupid that she agonized about this thing that happened between them, when in reality it meant nothing to the other girl. 

Because if it did, she wouldn’t be able to move on so fast, over night almost. Now, she knows that she cant actually expect Tobin to pine for her, while she goes of to her girlfriend, but she does. And she comes to that realization when Kelley finishes telling her the story, and she is unable to say a word about it. She is stunned. She is stunned about how pissed she is, she is stunned about how fast Tobin is. 

 

When she first found out that Tobin will be her roommate during the Algarve, she thought that it is not an ideal situation, but that maybe it would give them a chance to get this situation they managed to get themselves into. But after she found out about Tobins Paris girlfriend, she decides that she really doesn’t give a fuck about having a normal relationship with the middy. They can be just two people who work together that have to tolerate each other because of that. Where does she get off finding a girlfriend just days after telling Christen all she did. When Christen almost ruined her own relationship due to that conversation. 

 

Tobin comes into their room that night after hanging out with Alex, Christen being back from Kelleys room sometime before that. When she enters she expects to be greeted with timid hallo, just like its been the case previous days. And she’s dead wrong of course. She can't catch a break when it comes to this girl.

“Hey, what’s up?” she tries sounding casual, and Christen actually rolls her eyes. 

“Not much. Just had a conversation with Kelley. She told me how great Paris has been treating you”  
Fuck.  
Fuckity fuck. 

That about sums up things that are going through Tobins head at the moment. But then she comes to her senses and she remembers that what she’s been doing in Paris is non of Christens business.

 

“Well yea, the team is great, the city is beautiful, the people are very welcoming. “ She doesn’t owe an explanation here, and shes not going to give one. 

 

“Oh, I heard how welcoming the people are.” She’s being a sarcastic little brat, but she can’t help herself.

 

Tobin doesn’t say anything about it, she just goes about her business, brushing teeth and such.

 

When she finally gets in her bed, she starts typing messages to someone for an hour. And when she starts giggling, yes Tobin actually giggles, Christen huffs, drops the book she has been reading on her night stand and turns down the light.

 

And when Tobin says good night, she just says “Yeah”.

The morning after, Christen decides that she is going to stop acting like whatever Tobin is doing is any of her business. She greets Tobin like she would any other teammate, because that’s just what she is, a teammate.

 

A teammate she should try to get along if for no other reason than because she could use the assists Tobin can provide, and she knows off the field issues with teammates translate to issues on the field more often than not. 

 

“Good morning. Do you wanna go to breakfast together? I could wait for you to get ready if you want.” She says this in a pretty friendly tone, so much so that even she thinks it actually is friendly.

 

“Yeah, give me just a minute to change.” Tobin says this with a little too much eagerness, caught off guard by Christens change in behaviour. And she’s not used to pretend, she usually is carefree and doesn’t like to filter herself. While she gets dressed se starts thinking about what is it about the striker that makes her feel so out of place and uncomfortable. For the first time in her life she feels like she can’t say what she thinks an how she feels. It can't be just because this attraction she feels, she was attracted to plenty of girls before, so what is the problem. Before she can get herself all worked up about this thing again she hears Christen call out for her, so she gets out of the bathroom and they get out of the room and walk together to the dining room. 

 

They sit with Kelley, the defender raising her eyebrows when she sees them walking in together, but she decides to say nothing. They go on to chat about tomorrows game against China, and what they could do after practice that day. 

Christen scores against China and Tobin is there to congratulate her. Still, she mostly ignores her on the pitch, just like before, and she starts wondering is it caused by the same reason as before. Or is she just like that. But than again, she is pretty affectionate to her other teammates. Whatever the reason Christen decides not to take it personally.

 

They go to their room together, and they talk about the game and football in general for hours. And its the first time they feel comfortable with each other. But then Christens phone lights up, and she tenses instantly. 

 

“Hey babe, what’s up? I’m just in my room, hanging out with Tobin.” She looks everywhere but at her roommate, and Tobin is thinking about going out for some air. 

 

“Thanks, it was great, it’s like the first goal that actually counts you know? Not a goal in a friendly match.” 

“I know the first three also count, but still..”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m great” she’s smiling so big that Tobin wants to jump out of her skin.

 

“Yeah, talk to you tomorrow. Love you too. Bye.”

 

She finishes the conversation, and the air in the room is completely changed. Well, it was fun while it lasted she thinks, we’ll try this again tomorrow. 

 

Tobin is the first to go and get ready for bed, and while Christen waits for her turn in the bathroom she wonders when is this going to stop being so difficult.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

 

They win the Algarve Cup, beating Germany in the final. It’s a big deal for Christen, this medal being the first she wins with the National team.

 

She calls her parents, her voice and face showing so much happiness that Tobin can’t help but being all smiley as well.

 

Christen decides to go outside when she calls her girlfriend, reasoning with herself that she doesn’t want to make Tobin uncomfortable, cause talking to her girlfriend is kind of private, and would do the same even if she was rooming with somebody else.

 

When she gets back to her room Tobin is already dressed for the night out, the team is celebrating a gold medal after all.

 

So Christen, who is known for taking forever to get dressed, tells Tobin that she can go and hang out with somebody while she gets ready, she doesn’t have to wait for her. “I’m good here, you can’t be that bad, I’m sure Kelley was exaggerating when she told me about you getting ready when you were in college.”

 

She’s grinning to wide for Christens liking, so she decides to be a smartass. “So you talked to Kelley about me?”

 

But smugness is short-lived as Tobin just casually says “Oh, and you don’t talk to her about me?”

Christen just proceeds getting ready, and it does take as long as Kelley has told her. But what she haven’t told her is how hot a dressed up Press looks like.

Tobin is trying not to stare, not to stare at Christens legs, or cleavage, or her perfect face. She gets up from her bed, and she just asks “Ready?”

 

“Yep, lets get going. There’s a bottle of tequila with my name on it somewhere.” She says with the straight face.

She has a girlfriend, and I sorta kinda have a thing with Shirley is all Tobin can think as she stares at Christens ass as she trails behind the unsuspecting striker.

 

 

 

When they enter the bar, Christen and Kelley hit the tequila bottle as soon as they get a hold on one. Tobin is more of beer girl though, plus she doesn’t want to get to wasted, just in case.

Just in case she gets the dumb idea to try and get her roommate to dance with her. And then try to grope her, she is an ass girl after all. And then maybe she would try and kiss her. So she will drink beer.

 

What she doesn’t count on is being egged on to do shots by Kelley of course. And she should have known better, but three beers in she wasn’t really in the right mind set to try and act mature. She wasn’t sober enough to remind herself that Kelley O’Hara is the devil. A Satan. Lucifer. Beelzebub.

She has a devious mind, and when she sets it on tormenting her oldest friends, she cant be stopped.

 

At least that what Tobin tells herself in the morning, when the worst hangover in her life hits her as soon as she opens her eyes.

Now Tobin Heath might be considered a lucky person by some, but she isn’t blessed with black holes in her memory after nights of heavy drinking. So she remembers the previous night all too well. So well in fact that she cant make herself show any sign of life. She would gladly stop breathing if that was on option.

 

_It starts off like any other drinking night with her teammates. She paces herself, drinking just a few beers and thinking that she may even stay almost completely sober._

_But then Kelley hugs her and drags her to the part of the bar where she was sitting with Christen, Ali and Ashlyn._

 

_“Hey guys, look who I’m about to drink under the table.” She says while looking at Christen._

 

_And Tobin knows she should just laugh and carry on drinking her beer, but then Christen looks at her with the raised eyebrows, and she says not looking away from Tobin “ Well you can’t drink me under the table, we’ve seen it time and time again in collage, so you go and find yourself a lightweight.”_

 

_Ok. It’s on._

 

_After about 5th shot Kelley starts talking about their good old college years. “You know, our Pressi here was the pickiest girl back then. She even resisted the O’Hara charm. Can you imagine? Actually, when I think about it, you Chris are an exact opposite of our Toby. She wasn’t picky at all.”_

 

_And the whole table bursts laughing. Everybody except Tobin, who is pissed off for a couple of reasons. First, she had just been called a slut, second, O’Hara was at some point interested in Christen. And non of her friends were allowed to be interested in her girl._

 

_That last thought is what made her realise how drunk she was. She was wasted. So she was a lightweight. So what._

 

 

_She goes to stand next to Christen at this point, she throws her arm around her neck and she whispers into her ear “So I’m not the only one you shot down. That would’ve made me feel better if the person in question wasn’t O’Hara. That girl has zero game you know?Well, apparently you do.”_

 

_“Oh, and you know everything about having a game right?” Christen is drunk enough to find this conversation amusing, and she even finds drunk Tobin kind of charming._

 

_“Hey Heath, stop hitting on her, if she wasn’t into this, she sure as hell not going to go for your gameless ass” Kelley says while pointing at herself._

 

_And Christen bursts laughing, and Tobin laughs too, because what else is she going to do. She’s too drunk to come up with a decent comeback._

 

_Ali and Ashlyn are making out, and they are totally oblivious to the conversation that is taking place in front of them, and Tobin is grateful that at least Ashlyn is not teasing as well._

 

_“Whatever Kelley, at least I’m the one who gets the next dance.” She says as she takes Christens hand and leads her in the middle of now half empty bar. Nobody is really dancing, so it looks kind of weird when they start to, but soon enough a couple more dorks from their team start dancing around them. The entire time Tobin keeps her hands to herself, except when she whispers to Christen that they should do a couple of more shots because she’s losing he buzz._

 

_When they approach their table, they both do four more shots before Tobin and Kelley start talking how cool it would be if they had a surf boards with them since they were so near the ocean. Christen is having a great time watching two of the apparently biggest dorks trying to settle the score about who is better surfer, who is better at beerpong, who can juggle the ball longest._

 

_Who has more game, now that is something that interests her for some reason, and it's actually a competition where she would be able to help settle the score._

_But Tobins head is already big enough, and Kelley is one of her oldest friends, so she’s not going to._

 

_Later that night, when they decide its time to go back to the hotel, Christen and Tobin find themselves walking down the beach together. They are alone, and the whole thing starts to feel like an end of a date._

 

_They talk about how much they love the ocean, and how nice it is to spend this quiet time together. And then Tobin takes Christens hand and they walk the rest of the way to a hotel in silence._

 

_When they are both in bed, room totally dark, the only sound that can be heard is waves crashing on the shore, Tobin speaks for the first time since their walk._

_“ I really wanna kiss you right now. Actually, I wanna do all sorts of things to you.” She is too drunk to care, she’s going to speak her mind, what’s the worst that could happen. She already doesn’t have a girl, so she has noting to lose._

 

_“What do you expect I say to that? That I want you to kiss me. But then what? I become a cheater, and last I’ve heard you got yourself a girlfriend too. Not that I’ve heard it from you by the way. You can’t keep doing this to me. You can't just say stuff like this and then act oblivious and aloof. You must know how I feel about you, its easy to read even though Kelley said I’ve shot you down. You know that’s not the case. But I can’t do this. I have a girlfriend. I love her. All this with you, its like somebody has put a spell on me and I can’t shake it off. But I need to. I need to because you act like you want me and then you go and start a relationship with somebody else. So, starting tomorrow, we are going to be great friends who respect each others relationship, and who respect the person the other is with. And when we meet each others girlfriends, and that is going to happen, we will act like we would if it was a partner of any other of our teammates. Do you think you can manage that?”_

 

_“Yeah, yeah. Sure. Sorry.” And then she has the hardest time falling asleep, Christens words playing on repeat in her head._

 

When she decides to get up and face the music she is surprised that Christen acts like last night never happened. She is friendly and chatty, making a small talk while she finishes packing her bags.

 

And Tobin is grateful that she doesn’t have to face her humiliation.

 

They hug and say goodbye at the airport, and Tobin is off to her new, cosy relationship determined to make the most of it. And maybe she will soon start to feel like her old self again.


	7. Chapter 7

They do meet each other girlfriends. Just before their CL game, the Americans from Tyreso meet up Americans form PSG for in a coffee shop. They both decide to bring their girlfriends, not thinking too much of it. 

When Tobin sees Christen and Vero sitting together with Ashlyn, Ali, Whit and Kling, their fingers casually interlocked, her first instinct is to turn around and run away. But, she is used to by now that she can’t react instinctively when it comes to striker, she has to hold herself back for the first time in her life. 

So she smiles as she approaches them, with Shirley by her side, and Horan following them close behind. She gives a big, trademark Heath hug, and she introduces herself to Vero. Then she proceeds with introducing Shirley to all of them. 

Christen is friendly with her, and more than polite to Shirley, and soon they start speaking in Spanish, Vero participating in conversation Tobin can barely follow. She talks mostly with Whit and Kling, Ali and Ash in their own world. 

 

She wants to talk to Vero, wants to make the same effort Christen is making with Shirley, but she is not well versed at pretending in social situation. She is too used to acting according to her feelings, like a child in a way. But she promised Christen she could do it, so she is going to try. 

She holds Shirleys hand the entire time, just like she would if they were alone. She loves how easy it is to be with Shirley, how well they get along, how much the other girl understands her without her having to explain herself. Shirley actually makes her happy, makes her feel at home for the first time since she left her childhood home for college. She is in her first grown up relationship, and its going better than she expected, they rarely fight, their sex life is off the charts. 

So why the fuck is she so bothered by seeing Christen being happy with somebody else. Just thinking about it makes her feel disloyal to her girlfriend, and, as if Shirley can sense her unease she asks her “You OK? You spaced out, are you tired babe? Do you wanna go back to our hotel?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, just starting to have a headache.” She says cause she can’t exactly say I’m giving myself a headache without raising more questions than she answers.

Christen can’t help but hear their conversation, and she hopes it has nothing to do with the situation they are currently in. She realizes that she might be handling this much better than Tobin is, and she wonders if she has been too insensitive with her. 

She doesn’t know Tobin well enough to know that things she asked her to do are completely out of character for middy, that she never did things that others expected of her unless it was something e wanted to do in the first place. Christen couldn’t have known how much work this was to Tobin, and how stressful it was for her. 

Still, she couldn’t help but feel bad for the girl, struggle written all over her face. 

“Hey Tobs, how many times do you think I will score tomorrow?” she asks hoping to get Tobins mind away from their current predicament. 

“Well, since your team is not going to score at all, I would say zero. Zero times.” She says grinning, and competitive juices start flowing around the table in no time. 

Shirley and Vero are both amused by competitiveness and trash talk among the Americans, their girlfriends going at it like pro boxers before championship fight.

Christen scores twice. And she makes the tackle in her on 18, resulting in penalty kick for PSG. But still,, she won her team a game, so she doesn’t allow herself to feel too bad about it.

They invite Tobin, Horan and Shirley to the castle they are all living for some post game pizza. Evening is going pretty well, Tobin seems relaxed enough considering her team has just lost the game. At least as far as Christen can tell. Ashlyn, Tobin Kling and Vero take turns playing on Ashlyns Xbox, Vero and atovin reaching the finals. Its a close game, Tobins Arsenal beating Veros Real 1:0. And by the endxof the night it seems like Tpbin and Vero had become best buds. Of course Tobin is gonna have an easy time being friends with her girlfriend, after all she is the easiest person to get along with according to everybody she has ever spoken to about the middy. She doesn’t know if she should be annoyed or flattered that she is the only one Tobin has trouble being friendly with. 

She is also surprised with the ease in which Tobin acts around Shirley. Its like they get along perfectly,, like they are in sync all the time. They seem like match made in heaven, and she starts thinking that they really dodged the bullet, deciding that they are better off as friends.  
When she enters the kitchen to pour herself some water, she doesn’t expect Tobin to follow her. 

“I’m doing OK right? I’m doing what you told me to do? We’re OK?”

 

For the first time since she met her, Tobin sounds lost. Before, even if she has told Christen things that weren’t appropriate, and done things that were even less appropriate, she always seemed sure of herself, like she knew exactly what she was doing. Now,, Tobin seemed lost. She was like a fish out of water, and in that moment Christen realized how unnatural this must be to Tobin. She wasn’t acquit to deal with emotionally difficult situations, and Christen for her was emotionally difficult situation.

 

“Yea, of course, everything is fine.”

“So Shirley is great. Seems she’s good for you. You look like you belong together.”  
“Yeah, she’s perfect. We have so much in common it actually freaks me out sometimes. But in a good way. It’s so easy being with her, it’s almost effortless.”

“I’m really happy for you. Happiness looks good on you.” Christen tells her and she means it. For the most part anyway.

“Vero is a blast by the way. Very cool, very chill. I could actually like her as a friend. If the circumstances were a little different. But anyway, thanks for having us, we had a great time. And thanks for being nice to Shirley, she really likes you.” 

Tobin walks out and they announce that they are going back to the hotel. They say their goodbyes and make plans to hang out next week when they have the match against each other in Paris.

 

“Christen is such a sweetheart, how come you never mentioned her before?” Shirley asks as they enter the hotel lobby  
.  
“Yeah, we’re not that close, she joined the national team last year you know. But she is a nice girl tho.” Tobin tries to give as honest answer as she can, but she still feels like she’s lying through her teeth.

“See you in the morning baby. Love you” Tobin walks her girl to her door, and then she goes into her own room, falling a sleep as soon as her face touches a pillow. 

 

The next game between two teams happens a week after the first one, but this time its played in Paris.  
It ends without winners, which is a result Tyreso girls are ok with. 

The couples of the team go out exploring the city of light, making plans to meet up with the rest of Americans later that evening.  
While exploring probably the most romantic city in the world, all Press could think about is that she would love for Tobin to show her around. 

She’s not in love with her girlfriend anymore, she realises, even though she loves her very much. Because how else can she explain that she is currently in Paris, holding hands with her girlfriend of two years, and yet she can’t stop thinking about her national team teammate.

“What’s wrong babe? Where are you?” Vero asks after Christen is silent for a long while.

“Nothing, just thinking. Sorry. Can we talk about it when we get back home?”

Vero doesn’t like the sound of that, but she lets it go. 

“OK, lets get going, Kling and Whit are waiting for us, we’re suppose to meet Tobin and Shirley in an hour.”  
“You know what, I’m really tired, I think I’m gonna go back to my room. But you should go, have fun.”

“You’re sure? I can come with you, if you want.”

“No, no, go have fun, I’ll be sleeping right away anyway.” 

They walk together back to their hotel, where Kling and Whit are waiting for them in the lobby. Christen tells them that she’s not going, and to say hi to Shirley and Tobin and she walks back to her room.

She doesn’t want to se Tobin on the same night she decided to break up with Vero. It would seem disloyal and somehow cruel, to sit at the same table with her girlfriend and the person she thinks is to blame for the way she feels right now. Even though she knows it’s not Tobins fault she fell out of love, at least for tonight she is going to pretend it is.

In the morning when she wakes up, she sees three texts. One from Vero, the other two from Tobin.

 

“Hey, I hope you feel better, Just cheking in, in case you are awake. If not, then good morning beautiful.:-*” 11:04 pm

“I miss seing ur pretty face toght.” 02:14 am

 

“sorry, I’m a littlecdrunk. I know i broke yor rules.sorry.” 02:18 am

 

Yep. All her fault.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 

Christen has just finished unpacking, something she was supposed to have done two weeks ago, when she moved in her new Chicago apartment.   
In the past 6 months she broke up with Vero, lost Champions League finals, came in 7th with the National Team at the Algarve Cup, though she did score that one goal, and she moved across the globe, form Sweden to Chicago, where she will play for NWSL them Red Stars. 

 

Breaking up with Vero was a difficult process, although the decision about it was not. She has always prided herself of being an honest person, so once she realized she wasn’t in love any more, she decided to be honest about it. But it wasn’t easy telling someone who still was very much in love with you that you don’t feel the same any more. She wanted more than anything to remain friends with the woman who she shared her bed with for the last 2 years. 

“Could we go and take a walk in the woods?” She asks, feeling her heart i her throat.

“OK, just give me a minute, let me go change.”

Now, maybe some other person would think about maybe not going through with, maybe they would appreciate delaying, but she was almost impatient. She wanted to be done with it. To not feel like she’s lying every time she looks at the other woman.

“Sure, take your time.” Instead, she tries to be patient.

 

“So, what’s up?” And here it is. The question she asked herself a million times, but the question whose answer she’ll try to put into words for the first time.

“I love you so very much. You are my best friend, and you’ve been the best girlfriend anybody could ask for. But, I don’t think this is working anymore.” And then she goes for the kill. “I’m not in love with you anymore. I’m so sorry.” She has an urge to start crying, but she knows it’s not fair, so she’s not going to.

“Well...I mean what? We were fine, what brought this on? Did I do something? Can we at least talk about it, or is the decision already made?” She’s in shock, obviously blindsided, but she tries to be mature about it.

“I’m sorry. I love you so much, and it’s not fair to you, I want to be honest, I want to do the right thing. I want for us to still be friends, and the only way I can see it happening is if I don’t lie and pretend and if you don’t start to resent me for it. You are so important to me. I don’t wanna lose you as a friend, and this is I think the only way to prevent that.”

“So you wanna be friends? What if I don’t want that? Then what?”

“Then that’s your decision, but I hope that doesn’t happen. I know I’m being selfish, but I want you in my life. You are so important to me.”

“Is there anybody else?”

This is the question Christen feared most, although she knows that Tobin is not the reason she is breaking up. Maybe she’s the factor in it, but she’s not the reason.

“No, there isn’t.” is the simplest answer. So she goes with that.

 

After that, there was a month of tension between them, but eventually they did become friends again, although there were still some issues from time to time. But it was manageable. 

 

 

The Algarve Cup was a disaster. They came in 7th ,the worst result in US soccer history, at least when it came to women’s team.

She was rooming with Chaney, which meant she got to see Tobin Heath a lot more than she wanted to. Her anger towards the middy was at least somewhat misplaced, but still it was there. She tried to avoid her as much as it was possible, without seeming suspicious to Cheney, who was one of the most observant people she has ever met. She guessed it came with caring so much about people around her. And Cheney cared. She had a special soft spot for Tobin though, so her special observing senses started tingling after about 4 days.

“Tobin asked us to go for a walk down the beach with her. Get ready, we’re heading out in 10 minutes.” Lauren just says this as Christen is painting her nails, minding her own business.

“I’m beat, but you go, say hi to her for me.”

“Come on, just a little relaxing walk on the beach, now, put some shoes on” She’s looking at Christen like she’s going to start questioning her if she doesn’t do what she’s told. 

When they meet Tobin in the lobby, she of course is surprised to see Christen. And it shows. Lauren acts like she didn’t just lied to Christen, and they all go along with it.

It’s an awkward first few minutes, until Tobin starts talking about some random stuff about fishing, how she should have brought a fishing rod, claiming that’s the only sport she’s not a champion of in her family, her baby brother being the best. That and tennis. Her sister did play it in College after all, But she’s the best at soccer tennis, so that’s something. And Christen is not sure how long she would’ve kept rambling, if Lauren hasn’t interrupted her in the middle of what seemed like Tobins 6th topic in as many minutes.

“So, what’s up with you guys? Anything new? How’s Vero? How’s Shirley?”

And then is when Tobin decides to shut up. Typical, Christen thinks but doesn’t say anything about it.

“Vero and I broke up actually, but she’s great, we’re fine, as friendly as it can be expected at this point. How’s Jrue? How was the honeymoon?” Christen doesn’t want to listen to how happy Tobin is so she, plus she really is happy for her newly wedded friend. 

“He’s great, honeymoon was perfect, but now I suffer from withdrawals. I’m not sure how much longer I could do this, being apart from him for the better part of the year.” She says, and Christen thinks how wasteful it would be if Lauren stopped playing, but she understands where she’s coming from.

“So Tobs, how’s your girl doing? You’re being good, or do I have to smack you upside the head?” She says while grinning, but there is something in her tone that is somewhat serious. Maybe there are some issues between Tobin and Shirley, or maybe Cheney just knows Tobin too well, Christen isn’t sure which one is it.

“She’s great, we’re great, it’s all good.” is all Tobin says, all the while kicking the sand with her bare feet. 

Lauren seems satisfied with the answer, so she changes the subject, and the rest of the walk they talk about their upcoming game with Japan.

 

It’s 1 am when Christen gets the text from Tobin.

“Could u meet me in the lobby in 5 mins?”

Christen is not sure if this is really happening, but she gets up from the bed, washes her face and sure enough text is still there. Now, she knows that she shouldn’t go, that nothing good will come from it, but she’s curious, she can’t help herself but be.

When she goes downstairs, Tobin is already there, sitting in one of the chairs, her leg jumping up and down mile a minute.

 

“Hey. You came, I didn’t think you would.” She seems so unsure in herself, something Christen sees often, considering she only heard about super confident Tobin from others. She has seen it a few times, but only glimpses of it.

“Yeah. What’s up?” Christen tries to sound casual, and she hopes it’s working.

“Nothing. Nothing. Just wanted to see you I suppose.” Tobin is not looking at her; she’s too busy looking at her on feet.

“You just saw me a few hours ago. And, to actually see me you’d have to actually look at me, you know?” She’s not trying to be harsh, but she’s tired, and she’s pissed and she’s not in the mood to be played with.

“Yea, right. Right. Can we take a walk? It’s a beautiful night outside.” She’s looking at Christen, eyes big, brown, beautiful and sad.

She should say no. So she does.

“I think we should go back to bed. It’s been a long day, and tomorrow won’t be any easier. We could go grab a cup of coffee in the morning if you’re up for it?” She tries to be gentle with Tobin, she has a soft spot the size of Texas for this girl apparently.

Tobin looks surprised, the same expression on her face she had the first; the only time actually, they kissed, when Christen pushed her and walked away. 

 

“No, its ok, you’re right. See you tomorrow, sorry I woke you up.” she gets up and starts to walk out.

“This is so fucking stupid.” she mutters to herself, not loud enough for Christen to hear.

She's almost at the beach when she hears “Hey, wait up.” and she stops, but she doesn’t turn around. Christen is by her side in no time though, she touches her shoulder and turns her around, so they are facing each other.

“Tobin, what’s wrong? Why are you like this? I really want to understand you, but you’re not helping me. Please, just tell me what is going on with you.” Christen knows she should have walked away, but she cares too much, that is painfully obvious at this point.

“I don’t know! Don’t you think I would stop doing this stupid shit with you if I knew how to? This isn’t me! I don’t do complicated, I don’t do difficult, I always thought that is something is difficult than it’s not meant to be, cause I think that things that are supposed to happen just happen. It’s always been like that with me, but then with you every little thing is like pulling teeth. And when I don’t see you I’m a normal person again. I love my girlfriend by the way, though I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t believe me. When I’m around you I start to question it myself. Cause you make everything difficult for me. But I can’t stop myself from wanting to see you when I know that you’re near. I want to look at your face, I want to hear your voice, I want to touch your skin. And then I find out you don’t have a girlfriend anymore, and I’m pissed. Why didn’t you break up with her a year ago, I torture myself with that question since I’ve heard you say it, and I know is childish, and I know it has nothing to do with me, but I can’t help it. I know how fucked up it is that I want you all for myself when I’m the one with the girlfriend. So you have to tell me to fuck off. That you don’t want me at all. So I can stop torturing myself. So I can be happy. That’s what I what I want to ask you, but I don’t think I could handle actually hearing all of that.”

Christen is hugging her as soon as she is finished with her little monologue, hands wrapped around Tobins neck. And after a second, Tobins arms go around Christens waist.

“I don’t want you. Go and be happy, we are not meant to be.” Christen whispers this into Tobins neck, and then she plants the gentlest of kisses on the same spot, Tobin almost doesn’t feel it.

They stay like that for a few more seconds, and then they walk together to the elevator. 

“See you tomorrow at practice. Sleep well.”   
Tobin just nods her head.

When she enters her room, she lays down on her bed, face buried in her pillow, one hand hanging by the bed. 

“Is everything sorted out now?” Cheney asks.

“Yea, yea, everything’s great.” Christen manages before she passes out.

 

After that night, Tobin and Christen start behaving like friends. They like each other have some things, not many, but some things in common, and they try and build their relationship on that. Christen has a hard time not touching and looking at Tobin all the time, but Tobin is acting like she does with all her other teammates. She teases her, she hugs her, she plays cards and other board games with her. Christen thinks that words she whispered to Tobin that night actually did the trick, and she feels kind of sad about it. But she’s glad that at least she can be in the same room with Tobin without feeling tension all the time. 

 

Champions League finals loss hits her hard. It’s emotionally draining, and all the stress that came before it adds up to her crying her eyes out as soon as she enters her house.

Moving to Chicago, it turns out, couldn’t have come in the better moment. She hopes changing the scenery will do her good, considering the mess that her life has become the last 6 months she spent in Sweden.

 

She is far less enthusiastic about Vero signing for Portland Thorns however. The person she broke up with, and the person she wants to fuck so badly, sometimes she can’t stop her mind and her hand from going places, are going to be on the same team. 

I hope they become the bestest of friends, she thinks to herself as her forehead connects to her desk.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 

Portland is supposed too play against Chicago 3 times in two weeks that July. Which wasn’t ideal, Chicago was tough opponent, but whoever made that schedule was unintentionally tying to fuck with them.

 

She haven’t seen Christen much after the Algarve, though they were roommates in Canada for a week, when they played their friendlies. Things were finally starting to feel normal between them, but she was nervous about seeing the girl. It was always like that, so she was just going to have to learn to live with it.  
What made this situation a little more difficult was that Vero was her teammate now, and she felt awkward about it for some reason. Not around Vero, she was friendly enough with her teammate, but this will be the first time she will see them both at the same time since the two girls broke up. She felt guilty about it, although she had nothing to do with it. 

 

The game ended a draw, 2:2, Christen scoring both goals for Chicago. And somehow, Tobin feels proud about it.

Since it was 4th of July weekend, Alex decided to invite Christen, Lori and Julie to their place for some pizza. Tobin was informed about it on their way home, and she was actually happy to see her teammates, they always had a great time off the pitch.

 

When Chicago players arrived, Tobin, Alex and Allie were already 2 beers in. 

“Hey guys, beer is in the fridge, pizza will be her in 20 minutes, so drink up.” Alex is already tipsy, she was always a lightweight. 

“Thanks, but we can’t get to wasted, we have an early flight tomorrow” Julie says as she opens her first beer.

“I can’t stay for too long, I’m supposed to meet with Vero later. Grab one for me Julie.” 

“I don’t know about you guys but I’m getting wasted. This holiday sucks, I miss Serv so much. “ Alex whines, and Tobin and Allie both say awww in the same time while holding their hands to their chests. Then they burst laughing. 

“It’s easy for you to make fun of me when Shirley was her until 2 days ago. You moped around for weeks before she came so shut up.” Alex says and Tobin does shut up. 

"Anyways, Julie is apparently the only real friend I have here, so, cheers Juls."

 

“You know what, just cause I have to go see Vero later, doesn’t mean I have to be sober for it. Do you have tequila?”

Allie is on it before Christen says the last word.

After about 6 shots Christen realises she is no condition to go anywhere. So she gets this brilliant idea to invite Vero to Tobins place.

“Hey, I got a little carried away, could you come to Tobins place instead. You live in the same complex, so you’ll get here in no time. See you soon.” And she hangs up. 

Julie and Alex are already dancing, Lori and watches some soccer game rerun from two years ago, and Allie is on the phone with someone. 

So she decides to join Alex and Julie. And granted, neither girl from their team is much of a dancer except for Chaney, but they still go for it when nobody is watching. It’s fun, especially when you’re drunk off your ass.

When Vero gets there, she is drugged by Christen to the “dance floor” aka middle of the living room.

Now Vero can dance. Christen doesn’t know is that a Spanish thing or not, bud the girl has some moves.  
Soon enough they are all over each other, its playful and fun, there’s nothing serious about it, there is no intent from either side to do anything but have fun, but then Tobin is right next to them, and she asks Vero if she can cut in. 

“Sure, I need a drink anyway, this one grabbed me before I had a chance to get one. I guess I’m pretty irresistible.” She winks at Christen before heading to the fridge.

 

Before Christen can blink, Tobins arms are around her waist, her fingertips digging into small of her back. Christen puts her hands on Tobins shoulder, making sure to keep some distance between them.

 

“You played great today, I was so proud of you. Of course if you repeat this to someone I will say you must have dreamt it.” She’s smiling, but her eyes are too intense, they don’t match the playfulness of her words.

“Thanks, you played great too. I like playing against you. Not as much as playing with you tho. But either way I get to see you, and that’s always a good thing, right?” Christen is too drunk to not say what’s really on her mind.

Tobins grip on her back tightens, it almost hurts, and they stop moving completely. 

“Come with me please.” She says as she drags Christen to her room.

 

As soon as door is closed, she has Christen pinned too them, her face buried into strikers neck. 

“You know you can’t tell me such things and expect me to behave, right? You know I wanna rip your cloths off now? Do you have any idea how much I wanna be between your legs right now?” She whispers all of this into Christens ear, and Christen can feel herself getting wet. She grinds her hips into Tobins and the moan escapes her mouth before she can stop it. 

But that helps her come to her senses, she opens her eyes, and she takes Tobins face gently into her hand. She’s completely sober all of the sudden.

“But we can’t. Just a few days ago you were making love to your girlfriend in the same bad I’m looking at right now. You love her, you told me as much. She’s somebody you have easy time getting along. She’s your home. Is it worth it to lose it all cause we are attracted to each other? You’ve told me I make your life difficult. I don’t want that, I don’t want to be your mistake. Something you need to be forgiven for. Someone you might not be forgiven for.”

“Why can’t I look at you just one time and not feel this... I don’t know how to describe it. It’s complex, it’s joy, and it’s fear, and it’s happiness, and it’s desperation. Most of the time I just have to fight the urge to touch you. Cause I wanna touch you all the time. You scare me. You freak me out. Sometimes I think I wouldn’t know what to do with you if I ever got you. I’m afraid. I’m a coward. I know that. I can’t handle the thought of having you for a while just to end up losing you. I like feeling comfortable. I like having the upper hand. I’m a selfish bastard. I’m an..” before she can continue talking Christens lips are on hers. It’s an innocent kiss, gentle and soft. Comforting. And it almost end before it starts.

 

“You have to decide what you want for yourself. It’s ok to want an easy life, comfortable relationship, a person you have everything in common as your partner. It’s fine. We just have to pretend that we know things wouldn’t have work between us. They probably wouldn’t. I would drive you crazy with my daily planning and doing everything the right way. Maybe your first instinct was right. Maybe we are too different. We have to make a plan and we have to stick to it. We were doing so good in Canada. We just have to stop drinking together, nothing good ever comes from it.” She smiles, or at least she tries to.

“OK, so no drinking together, no dancing together, you can’t dance with Vero in front of me either . You can’t wear tight skirts in front of me. You can’t be adorable around me. Ever. That is strictly forbidden.” And Christen starts laughing. Nobody can be this charming, can they?

“Stop laughing, those are my rules. Now lets hear yours.” And she knows how charming she is. Well, that’s just great.

“You can’t be this charming in front of me. Ever. You can’t touch me around the waist or bellow. You can’t whisper stuff to me. You can’t act all possessive when somebody is around me.” She finishes on the more serious note, addressing for the first time the elephant in the room so to speak. 

“I’m not possessive, I just don’t like when somebody else touches you.” She’s actually being serious right now.

“You do know that that’s the definition of the term being possessive right?” Christen is serious too. 

“Ok, I won’t act possessive. Anything else?” 

“No, nothing that I can think of right now. So it’s a deal?”

“Yep. It’s a deal.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not happy about how I wrote this one, but I it is what it is.

Chapter 10

 

CONCACAF was the first major tournament for Christen, the first one that had some that actually meant something. If they played well they were going to the Word Cup, if not, they were staying home. And even though everybody was fairly certain that they were going to win it, it was still different from playing Algarve.

She scored two goals in four matches leading up to finals, and she was pleased with the way she was playing. 

Tobin scored two goals too, and she was happy for her friend. 

Since their talk in Portland four months prior, the one where the established the rules for their relationship, they were both vary committed to applying them.

Sometimes she would get a text from Tobin with new rules she thought of like: “You can’t bite your lip in front of me. It’s distracting.” or “We are not allowed to use the same ice bath at the same time.” It made Christen smile at her phone, but then she would reply “I agree. But, you can’t look at me and smile for no reason.” And Tobin would just reply with “ OK :-D “

“Well you just broke the new rule, you know that right” 

Aaaaand they were flirting. So she would just say “Goodnight Tobin.” and would put her phone down. 

 

When she scored in the semis against Mexico, she had Tobin in her arms before she knew what was happening. She was beyond happy, and she had a person who occupied her thoughts for years right there beside her. And they still respected the rules, she thought to herself later in her room, Tobins hands were nowhere near her waist. She knows that because she remembers how disappointed she was because of that.

Her roommate for this tournament was Ali Krieger, somebody who knows a thing or two about dating a national team teammate, but she never talked to her about it, even though they were good friends. Ali was one of the first people from the team she became close to, so she felt like she could talk to her openly if she wanted to. Still, she decided not to, mainly because she felt if she shared her feelings with somebody else, it would make her situation all more real.

The day of the final she was nervous. First it was the final, and even though they were already going to the World Cup, she still wanted that gold medal. Second, she will be playing against Shirley Cruz. The woman who was nothing but nice to her, but whose girlfriend she wanted to herself. So she felt horrible. She felt guilty, so much so that she didn’t know how she was going to look her in the eye.

 

She doesn’t get to play in the finals. What she does get to do is, she gets to listen to their teammates gush how cute Tobin and Shirley are.

She doesn’t go to Tobin for a while after the whistle blows, she doesn’t want to seem too eager. After a few minutes though, she goes to her, she goes to hug her, to tell her good game, and she does that. But the response is not the one she expects. She gets a lukewarm hug from Tobin, almost a brush off, and then she’s gone. Christen doesn’t realize what just happened until she looks at her teammates and then turn around to see what they all are looking at. 

There they are, hugging each other so lovingly that it breaks her heart a little. And to add insult to the injury, all of her teammates are gushing over it. They are happy for Tobin; they all know that Shirley is the best thing that ever happened to her. They all say as much.

In the locker-room, they exchange jerseys, Shirley and Tobin, and Tobin even puts her gold medal around Shirleys neck. Christen never packed her stuff faster than that night, and Ali notices it. So Ali follows her lead, she packs as fast as she can, and she approaches her.

“Ready? Let’s go back to the hotel, we only have an hour to get ready for the club.”  
She is looking at her like she understands, though Christen is not sure how she could know. 

“Yep, lets get out of here.”  
Ali kisses Ashlyn goodbye, tells her something, and then they’re off.

When they enter their room, they are quiet for a while. Ali is first to speak.

“How are you? How are things with Tobin going?”

Christen is so shocked she stays silent for some time.

“Things are good. I’m good. Wait, how do you know about Tobin?”  
“Chaney told me to look after you. Something about Tobin being a childish asshole.”  
And Christen can’t help but laugh at this. That is exactly how Tobin described herself that night in Portland. So she did talk with someone about me, she thinks, so she decides to tell Ali a thing or two about it herself.

“You know how Tobin is the most charming person on this planet?”

“Well, I wouldn’t go that far but...”

“That was hypothetical question. And she is, trust me. Well, since I first joined the team we had this weird thing going on. First, she ignored me completely; you weren’t there, so you don’t know. It was before the Olympics. Then, after we won, we went to celebrate and she kissed me. But I had a girlfriend, so I backed away and that was that. Then she went on and found herself a girlfriend, but still, she was telling me things that made me, well, that made me fall for her. I never thought about it until right now, but that was it. I fell for her. I left Vero cause I wasn’t in love with her anymore. I don’t expect anything from her, I don’t blame her for anything, she told me early on that she doesn’t think we would work, that I made stuff difficult for her, that she is happy with Shirley. So what if sometimes she slips, so what is sometimes she has to tell me how she feels, I can take it. She’s not a selfish asshole, she’s young. She tries to do the right thing for herself, and that’s ok. And I’m not defending her, I’m not blind about her, I just understand her.” she finishes and she is grateful that Ali doesn’t interrupt her.

“OK, so what you are saying is, fuck her, lets go and get wasted. And if we hook you up with anybody is would be a nice little bonus.” Ali is smiling, and she’s grateful that she doesn’t push the matters further. Ai understands that she just needed somebody to listen to her tell her side of things.

“Yep, a hook up sounds great right about now.” she knows it’s not going to happen, but she goes with it anyway.  
Both teams end up in the same club, and Christen is again amazed at how Murphys Law never disappoints.

Ali and Ashlyn are with her the whole time; Ali obviously told Ashlyn at least some of the things she told her earlier.

Being as they have the same cycle of friends, they end up at the same table of course. Kelley, Cheney, Ashlyn, Ali, Kling, they are all there and they all know that something is up. But they all pretend that everything is fine, and after a while things start to get lose a little. 

Kelley decides that she is going to find a cute girl for Christen, since she’s the only one single, and it’s sad really. That’s how Kelley puts it anyway, and Christen is glad that it’s dark enough that nobody can see her blush.

Tobin meanwhile, is too busy making out with her girl, completely oblivious to what’s happening around her.

“See that blond chick over there? Well, she’s been looking at you the whole night, so you just sent her a drink. Now, go and get her tiger.”

“I haven’t sent her anything, what are you talking about?”

“Well, they don’t call me a gamemaker for nothing you know. Now go ahead, you can thank me later”

“Did you just make a Hunger Games reference? Are you 12?”

“Yes I did, now go on.”

The rest of the night is a blur, but she knows she had a nice enough time. The girl was actually really smart ad cute, and a good dancer, and an even better kisser. But that’s all they did, and she was glad that she spent her night having fun and not watching Tobin and Shirley go at it.

So, when she looked at her phone and she saw a text from Tobin, she just groaned. She opened it anyway.

“I’m great at following the rules, aren’t I? But you wore a tight skirt tho, didn’t you?”


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 

Tobin and Christen are roommates again in Portugal. By this point they both start to think that somebody is screwing with them, after all Jill is known for her mind games. They know they are being paranoid, but it’s easier to think that, than to think that their whole relationship is fate. Serendipity if you will.

So Tobin finds it funny when Christen suggests that they watch the movie with that exact title. She laughs so hard that Christen starts laughing too, even though she doesn’t know what’s so funny. 

And when Tobin tells her the train of thought that led her to laughing like a maniac, Christen just glares at her.

“You’re a child. And an immature one at that.”

“Well that depends, who you ask and in what room I’m in. I can be plenty mature where it counts.” She says, and it’s the worst sexual innuendo Christen has ever heard, and she did date guys in high school.

“You’re a child and you are gross.” She says, but she can’t help it, her mind is going places, places where she lets herself go when she’s alone in the darkness of her room. Not when to object of her desire is 3 feet away.

“Well wouldn’t you like to know how gross I really am?” Tobin is crossing the line, she knows that much, but technically, she’s not breaking any rules.

“You know, one of these days I’m gonna take you up on that offers you are making, and I’m gonna enjoy watching you try to weasel your way out of it. Now come here, I’m pressing play.”

 

Tobins face looks priceless, and Christen is petting herself on the back for finally coming back with the line that shuts the other girl up.

 

“Scoot over.” Tobin says, and she makes herself comfortable on Christens bed.

“And how come you get the bed that is closer to the balcony, you had that bed last time we were here.” She says even though she doesn’t really care about the bed, she just tries to talk about something that will take her mind from thinking how nice it feels to share the bed with the striker.

“Well, I came here first, so I get to pick. But if you were nicer to me, I would let you have it.”

“I’m plenty nice with you. You should see how I treat Kelley and Alex, you are getting the royal treatment.” 

“Oh, wow, in that case you can have the bed next time we’re here.”

“That’s very generous of you, considering we probably won’t be roommates next time. But it’s thought that counts I guess.”

 

They watch the movie in silence, Tobin being as restless as Christen imagined, fidgeting the whole time. She finds it adorable of course, just like she finds everything the girl does adorable lately. Adorable and cute. And hot. She finds her incredibly hot. So about half way through the movie, Christen absentmindedly puts her head on Tobins shoulder. 

 

“Kate Beckinsale is cute here.” 

“Not as cute as you tho.” 

“You are not allowed to be charming, it’s in the rules you know.”

“I’m just saying, you’re cuter, that’s all.”

They don’t look at the movie anymore, they look at each other. 

“You know you’re gonna have to decide what you really what one of these days. Right now the ball is in your court, but it’s not gonna be like that forever. I can’t do this with you for much longer, it hurts too much. It’s not your fault, I don’t blame you , I just have to protect myself.”

Tobin intertwines their fingers and she kisses every knuckle of Christens right hand. 

 

“I know. I know, I’m sorry. I’m tired of doing stupid shit when it comes to you, I can’t believe you tolerate it to be honest. I guess one of these days one of my apologies will be one too many for you to take.” 

She goes to get up, to move from Christens bed, when she feels Christen tugging on her arm.

 

“Stay. Stay with me tonight. We can pretend it didn’t happen in the morning.”

It’s breaking Tobins heart that she is doing this to Christen, that she makes her feel this weak. So she stays.

 

“Ok, I’ll stay. You are making good on your promise to give me the bed year earlier.” She tries to the other girl feel better, though she understands the seriousness of the situation.

 

Christen wakes up to a hand pressing her lower belly, making her need to pee that much more urgent. But she doesn’t move, she wants this moment to last as long as it can. Tobin starts waking up a few minutes later, her grip getting stronger, her face buried in Christens neck. Christen enjoys this too much to try and stop it. It’s been too long since she last had sex, so to say she is horny would be the monumental understatement. When Tobin starts nuzzling her neck, she manages to bite back a moan. But when she starts grinding her hips into her ass she knows that if she doesn’t stop this now, they will do something that that won’t be able to take back.

“Tobin, we have to stop.” she doesn’t stop.

“Tobin, we can’t do this.”

“I don’t wanna stop. Please don’t make me.” She says as she starts kissing Christens neck. 

Christen moans as Tobins hand grabs her breast, squeezing it almost to hard. 

 

“You’re cheating on your girlfriend right now. We can’t” Christen finally gets through to Tobin, who stops her hands, her lips and her hips form moving. 

She’s still spooning her, but she has loosened her grip a little. 

“I want you so bad right now. I never wanted anybody this much in my life. I’m not a cheater, but this with you.. this is something out of this world.”

“Do you have any idea how many nights I imagined this? How many nights i dreamt about it? How many nights I touched myself thinking about you touching me. Thinking about you fucking me. Thinking about you having me all the ways that you want. But we can’t start off like this, if we are to start something. And I don’t wanna push you to break up with her. You’ll just have to choose. God I feel so pathetic saying all of this, like I wait on your hand and foot. I’m not waiting forever tho. I don’t know how long I can take this.” She gets out of bed, she doesn’t want Tobin to see her tears. 

She doesn’t see Tobins tears either.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

 

 

Tobin is sitting on the airplane, waiting for a takeoff; she’s going back to Portland after her two week visit to Paris. She has been lost in her thoughts for the last three days, though, ever since Shirley started talking about coming to NWSL, about them settling down together, about having kids. She guesses that’s what happens after you turn 30, you start thinking about really grown up stuff. She thinks about the year she had so far, she had won the World Cup! Freaking World Cup! And yet, her mind wonders to the conversation that happened three months before the World Cup, in April after the Algarve Cup. After that morning that they never discussed, because she was a fucking coward, because she wanted an easy way out.

 

“ _Can you please come with me for a second” she hears Christen say, while she’s in the middle of the Monop Deal with Alex in the hotel lobby._

_“Sure, I’ll come to your room in a minute, just let me finish this game” she says, not catching the seriousness of Christens tone._

_“Fine, I’ll be waiting” and she’s gone._

_“You better go, she seems pissed. What did you do now?” Alex doesn’t know the whole story but she knows enough._

_“Nothing, I didn’t do anything, I hardly saw her since we got here. I’m gonna go. See you in a bit”_

_“Hey, what’s up?” she looks at Christen, who has the unreadable expression on her face._

_“When were you gonna tell me? When were you gonna tell me that you chose her?”_

_"What are you talking about? I... what?”_

_“Babe, I love you to the moon and back? You do know I follow her on Instagram? Did you really had to do it a day after that morning? Did you think I wouldn’t see it?” Christen is not pissed. She is sad. And it’s hundred times worse._

_“I’m not mad at you for choosing her, I’m sad you were not brave enough to tell me. Please look at me. Look at me and tell me you choose her. Be brave. Be brave for me just this once.”_

_“I can’t. I’m sorry I can’t. If I say it we are done. You’ll be done with me.”_

_“OK, then I’ll do it. I’ll be strong for you one last time. We’re done, we are finished. We never really were anything. Now please leave me alone. I can’t do this with you anymore. It hurts too much. Don’t talk to me off the pitch for a while. Do this one thing for me please.”_

_She’s not going to cry in front of Tobin, she promised herself that._

_“Yeah, I understand. OK.” She leaves the room without looking at Christen once._

 

They don’t talk at all during the World Cup, only when it’s necessary, in practice and on the pitch. Tobin is keeping her promise and Christen seems to be doing better half way through the tournament. They hug each other once, after the semis game, and that is all the physical contact that happened between them in the last 5 months.

 

When she gets to Paris, she can’t wait to see Shirley, the woman always being able to make Tobin happy, to make her comparable, to make her feel like she has a home. But then she starts talking about kids, and settling down and moving to US, and it all becomes to real for Tobin. It was one thing for her to be an escape for Tobin, her oasis, but the thought of spending the rest of her life with Shirley scared Tobin shitless.\

 

So first thing she does once she lands is Portland, she calls Cheney. “Hey can we facetime? I need to talk to you”

“Yep. What’s up?”

“I just got back from Paris, and I’m freaking out. I need you to tell me what to do. Shirley is talking about marriage and kids, and living together, and I’m not ready for it.” She looks as freaked out as she sounds, Cheney thinks but she doesn’t comment on it.

“Well, what did you expect? She’s a 30 year old woman, of course she’s thinking about kids and marriage. Do you even want kids?”

“Well yeah, eventually.” Tobin always imagined having kids, bunch of them, just like her parents have.

“What does that mean? In a year, in five years? I mean, just tell her that, I’m sure she’ll understand”

“I want kids, I’m just not sure if I want them with her.” she says this, her voice full of shame. She knows what she’s admitting right now.

“You don’t want kids with her? Do you wanna marry her?” Cheney knows the answer to this question, but she asks it anyway.

“....no” Tobins eyes are full of tears now, but she doesn’t dare cry.

“You know what you have to do right? You need to tell her that. You need to stop wasting her time. You need to stop wasting your time.”

“I know. I am such a fuck up. I ruined everything with everybody. Why did I let this get this far? And Christen doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore. I guess that’s what you get for being a coward.” her jaw is clenched, and her voice is barely above a whisper.

“Don’t get Christen involved with this; she just started to get back to normal. Don’t fuck her up again too.” it pains Lauren to talk to her friend like this, but she tries to give her a good, responsible advice.

“I know, I won’t. I’ll make a trip next month, I’m gonna break up with her; I just need to do it in person. I owe her that much.”

“I love you, you know. You’re a great person; don’t beat yourself too bad about it. Sometimes relationships just don’t work out.”

“Yeah. I know. Thanks for talking with me, love you.”

Breaking up with someone who doesn’t expect it is hard. Living with someone for a week after you break up with them is a living hell. Still, Tobin needs to move her things to States, she has a few errands in Paris, and she wants to make sure that Shirley is at least somewhat fine, so she stays for a week.

 

 

When she gets back to US, her first stop is North Carolina. She tells her friends what happened, and it feels good to have so many people on your side.

 

When she gets to California, where she goes to visit Kelley, the news of her break up is already spread. They are hanging out at the beach, a few of Kelleys friends made a nice fire, keeping them all warm o the coldish November night.

 

She doesn’t expect to see Christen there though, so when she does she feels like somebody just punched her in the gut. Her lungs are empty, she feels, and she can’t help but stare at the most beautiful girl she ever saw.

Christen doesn’t expect to see her either apparently, cause she freezes at first. But then she smiles at her. “Hey, didn’t expect you here, Kelley didn’t mention anything about you visiting.”

“Yeah, sorry, I didn’t have anything to do with it, I swear.” Tobin is scared Christen would think that she somehow set this whole thing up.

“I know, I know you wouldn’t do that.”

 

And then Kelley is hugging both of them from behind, and she yells “Tobin, buddy, so how is single life treating you?” Christen looks at Tobin like she has two heads, and then she says something about having to go to the bathroom, and the next second she’s gone.

“You’re welcome. Now, go get her before somebody else does. You know, she’s a hot piece of ass. Always was.”

“Hey, watch it. And thank you buddy.” Tobin is at this point running to catch up with Christen, who is walking pretty fast down the beach.

“Hey, wait up.” But Christen doesn’t stop. But she does slow down.

“Hey, please wait up” Tobin says once she reaches her. She touches her shoulders, to afraid to grab them, but she slowly turns Christen around.

“When were you going to tell me? Were you gonna tell me?”

“Of course I was gonna tell you, but I thought that I was too late. I thought that you were done with me. I thought that maybe you found somebody else, which, if you consider our timing this far, was more likely than not.”

“Did they drop you on your head when you were little? Cause that is the only thing that could explain your behavior. You think I don’t want you? You think I could ever stop wanting you? Are you that d...” before she could finish, Tobins lips are on hers.

 

The kiss is soft at first, like they both just forgot how to do it properly, like they are waiting for the other one to find a reason to run away again.

But then Tobin gets impatient, she’s hungry for this girl, so she deepens the kiss, pulling Christens hair with one hand, while grabbing her breast with the other. She’s rough, not like Christen imagined her, but she likes it. She likes it so much that she feels it between her legs.

Tobin has her on her back soon after, her legs spread; her skirt hiked up her hips, the only things separating them being her panties and Tobins surf trunks.

Tobin starts kissing her down her neck, her hips grinding against her almost completely bare pussy. She’s beyond aroused by now, but she doesn’t want their first time to be on the public beach, just a few hundred yards from where their friends are having a party.

 

“Tobin... Tobin, babe, we need to stop. Tobin, we’re in public, just, just take me to your room, please..” she manages to say while Tobins face is already half way down her body.

 

“Just, just give me a minute here, just a minute..I don’t think I can get off of you right now.” her face is directly above Christens now, as her hand is stroking her through her panties.

 

Her hips are matching Tobins hand movement, Tobins face buried in her neck.

 

“I’m gonna cum if we don’t stop. I can’t take much more.” Christen almost forgets where she is, she feels too good to care.

Tobin just starts stroking her faster, her mind set on getting Christen off, she wants to hear her lose her mind even for a few seconds, she needs to know that she can get her off without taking any of her clothes off. She needs to know that she can have her. She needs to know that she already has her.

 

“Look at me. Open your eyes baby.” They are nose to nose now, and Tobin loves to see how much of a struggle it is for Christen to keep her eyes open.

 

“Are you mine now?”

 

“Oh God..fuck...” Christens body goes stiff; she bites her lip to keep herself from yelling.

 

When she finally comes back to Earth, Tobin is kissing her all over her face, small, gentle, innocent kisses.

 

“I’m yours now.”


	13. Chapter 13

Tobin has the biggest, stupidest grin on her face when they get up from where they were laying. 

“You know, if somebody saw or heard anything, you’re not touching me again this year” Christen says with the straight face, which is not easy to do considering that she hasn’t been this happy since forever.

“OK...wait, what? Chris, we didn’t even do anything, I mean it was a heavy petting at most..” oh, that’s how I wipe that stupid grin off your face, Christen thinks. But she’s smiling too now though, finding rambling Tobin adorable. 

 

When they go back at the house that Kelley is renting, nobody pays any attention to them, so they assume they are safe.

 

“Hey Toby, hey buddy, what’s with that big ass grin on your face? You look like an 8th grader who just conquered the second base for the first time. And you Pressi, I must say your hair is on point tonight.”

 

Tobin is smirking until Christen elbows her in the gut. 

“Hey, what was that for?”  
She gets a very intense glare as an answer.

“Oh, you got yourself a boss lady Tobin.” Kelley is having a great time teasing her friends, but she actually couldn’t be happier for them.

“Yes, I sure did” Tobin says with the sleaziest tone she can muster.

She gets the elbow in the gut again.

“Oh, this one actually hurt..” 

“Good.” Is all Christen says, though she’s having a very hard time keeping her face straight.

She wraps her arms around Tobins midsection, soothing the place she just hit, and Tobin melts.

“Hey, about my sleeping arrangement, I think I’m gonna go stay in a hotel for a few nights.” Tobin says, talking to Kelley.

“Ok buddy, no problem. See you tomorrow tho.” She says, deciding not to give her friend hard time for now.

“Hey Chris, lets go grab some of my stuff, so we can go.” She takes Christens hand and leads her to her bedroom.

 

“So, what do you need a hotel room for?”

“So I can fuck you senseless without worrying about Kelley getting an earful.” She says as she approaches Christen. She pushes her up the wall, squeezing her waist as Christens arms go around her neck.

“And what makes you think I’m going with you? Maybe I have some other plans? Maybe you should’ve asked me first.”

Tobins left hand goes up her skirt as soon as Christen finishes talking. “Cause of this. Cause of how wet you still are. Cause you want to know how good I can make you feel” she’s whispering this while their lips are touching.

 

“Lets get going then.” She says though she would gladly stay her and let Tobin finish what she started.

 

 

They check into the first hotel they find, barely managing to enter their room before they start taking each other cloths off. 

First they fuck in the bathroom, Christen getting to her knees midway through their make out session.

She goes straight to Tobins clit, knowing how badly the girl above needs release. Tobin grabs her by her hair and turns her so she is trapped between the wall and the other girls body. Tobins other hand goes to support herself against the wall, while the hand that is in her hair pushes Christens head in between her legs until Christen can barely breathe. She is so lost in it all, that when Tobin cums, which happens too fast for Christens liking, she continues sucking on her until Tobin can’t stand on her own feet anymore. 

They are both breathless, Christen sitting on the shower floor, Tobins head buried in her chest. 

 

“Are you ok? I wasn’t too rough, was I? Sometimes I get carried away..”

“You were perfect. You are perfect. I want you to enjoy yourself, you don’t need to hold back with me.”

“Lets go to bed now.” Tobin helps her get up, and she leads her to the bed.

“Lay down and spread your legs for me.” She says and then she kisses her briefly. 

“You’re so beautiful. You’re unreal.” 

Tobin goes to lays between her legs, and she just stays there for a while. Her face is in the crook of Christens neck, Christens fingers going lazily up and down her beck. 

She starts kissing her neck, softly, gently, but otherwise she’s not moving. 

“Where are you?” Christen asks after a few more minutes pass. 

“I’m here. I’m just so happy. It’s a little scary. I want to make you happy.”

“Just relax, I’m good, everything is good. Just come here. “ Christen pulls her face, and they are kissing. But Christen feels like Tobin is hesitating, like she’s all of the sudden unsure of herself. 

 

“Tell me what are you thinking, I can hear the wheels turning in your head.”

“It’s just... Are you sure I wasn’t too rough? You can tell me, I can be more gentle if that’s how you like it.” Her voice is so small, Christen can barely hear her.

“ Listen, I don’t ever do something I don’t want to. I loved what we did in the bathroom. I wouldn’t lie to you, I probably enjoyed it more than you did.” She is smiling, her eyes showing mirth in them.

“Ok, but tell me if I’m too much.”

‘Of course. Of course I will. Now, I was promised something at Kelleys place” 

Tobin starts kissing her for real now, her hand playing with Christen nipple, the other hand in her hair. 

 

“Get on your stomach please” Tobin says and Christen rolls over. Tobin kisses every inch of her skin, occasionally squeezing her ass and the inside of her thighs. But she doesn’t touch her where it counts. She doesn’t come near her pussy, she doesn’t let her move so she can make some friction, at least between her nipples and sheets. 

She goes at it for at least 20 minutes, which for Christen seems like an eternity. But she decides to let Tobin do what she pleases, knowing it will be worth it at the and. 

“Turn around.” She does.

“Now, bend your knees.” She does.

 

“Good. Now grab the headboard. And don’t let it go until I tell you to, ok”

Christen just nods. 

“I’m gonna eat you out now. And I’m gonna take my time. So don’t cum too fast. Ok? I want to savour it.”

Christen just swallows. 

When Tobins tongue first touches her wetness, she thinks that she is not going to be able to last more than a few seconds. “Oh fuck..” her hands go straight to back of Tobins head.

“Keep your hands up on the headboard baby, it will feel better trust me.” 

Christen listens to her, and she grips the headboard until her knuckles are white. 

Tobin goes at it, painfully slow, just barely touching her clit from time to time. She’s enjoying herself Christen can tell by moaning that she can feel against her pussy.

“I'm gonna touch you with my fingers now.” She says as she enters her with first one, then two fingers. She is stroking her slowly, while her tongue in putting a constant pressure on her clit. She start going at it with the steady rhythm, both with her fingers and with her tongue, and Christen can’t hold it off any more. Just then Tobins other hand goes to he breast, pinching her nipple at the just right time. Christens hands go to grab Tobins head.

“Tobin...baby..fuck...” and then her body goes rigid before she starts grinding her hips against Tobins face, her orgasm so strong she thinks she blacks out for a second.

 

When she opens her eyes, Tobins face is just above her. They are breathing the same air.

“Hi. You ok?” 

 

Christen just smiles. Tobin gives her her biggest, brightest smile, and then she makes herself comfortable on top of Christen.

 

 

“You ready to go again? “ Tobin asks after about 5 minutes.

Christen starts laughing, but she’s loving all of this. She is utterly charmed by a girl currently laying on top of her.

“Sure I am. I had all of five minutes to rest.”

“Yeah, I forget you’re just a striker, your stamina can’t compare to the stamina of the winger.” She roles over Christen, thinking that maybe could let the other girl breathe. 

“Hey” Christen slaps her stomach, but she roles so she is laying half on top of Tobin.

“I need to tell you something, I forgot about if before.”Before Tobin starts freaking out, she continues. “I’m going to South Africa with Chaning in a couple of days.”

"For how long?"

“For 10 days.”

“Well, it’s not too bad. I can manage 10 days.” She says, while she thinks that of course something like this is going to happen. Their timing always was perfect after all.

“Now come on, we need to make up to not seeing each other in advance. “ 

Christen giggles, but she is already in the process of straddling Tobins hips.

“Get up a little bit. Good. Now, lower yourself on my fingers”Tobin says, and Christen does waht she’s told.

She starts riding Tobins fingers, slowly going up and down. She knows she can’t cum like this, but she wants to put on a good show for Tobin. 

Tobin is sucking on her nipple, their eyes locked, and she can’t handle how turned on she is.  
“Tobin, I need to cum. I can’t like this”

“Touch yourself. Touch your clit baby.”

Christen doesn’t know why she feel embarrassed, but she does.

“Hey, it’s ok, I really wanna watch you get yourself off while I’m inside you. It’s gonna feel so good. Trust me.” 

She starts stroking herself, squeezing in her hand between them, Tobins teeth and lips and tongue back on her nipple. 

She cums after a minute it seems, and she collapses on top of Tobin, Tobins fingers still inside of her.

 

After a while Christen is first to speak.

“Before you ask, no I’m not ready to go again.”

Tobin just chuckles. 

 

“Lets get some sleep babe.” 

Tobin is the little spoon that night.

 

 

Tobin wakes up with Christens head between her legs. She’s just kissing her at this point, trying to wake her up.

“Morning. I felt guilty about last night, you fell a sleep without getting off. So I decided to start making up to you first thing today.”

 

“Go on then” Tobin says, though she thinks the previous night was perfect as it was.

Tobin cums fast, with Christens mouth on her clit and Christen fingers inside of her. She figures Christen doesn’t like to play around when it comes to this. The exact opposite of her. And she likes it. She doesn’t like to be teased too much.

“Lets go take a shower, and then I’m taking you to breakfast.” Christen tells her while she’s still recovering. 

 

They go at it again in the sower, and by the time they actually go and grab something to eat they are both on the verge of starvation. 

 

“So, since you’re going away for forever, I thought we should go and grab some of your stuff, you can pack as well, and then you can spend these last two days before you leave here with me.”

 

“Well, you sue thought this through, didn’t you. And people say you don’t make plans.” She’s teasing her, but she is beyond happy about how Tobin is treating her. How she is treating their relationship.

“Ok, so eat up, we have an hour drive to your parents home, right?”

 

They arrive to her parents house just before noon, but being that is weekend both of her parents are there. Her sisters are coming later, and she feels like they are doing this really big deal without even a second thought. Her family knows Tobin, and some know about their complicated relationship, her kid sister being the best informed one. So she isn’t sure how they will react to her. She’s not going to let them be anything but respectful to he tho.

 

“Hey daddy, I’m home. I brought Tobin with me.” 

“Hi sir. Mr Press” Tobin doesn’t now how to act, she has met the man before, but this is something different.

“Hey, just call me Cody, no need for formalities.” He seems friendly enough, though she can feel him assessing her.

“Where’s mom?”

“In the kitchen. Go tell her you brought guest, she’s making lunch.”

As Christen leaves, her dad turns to Tobin.

“So, what are your intentions with my daughter?”

“What...well see Sir, I mean Cody, we just started seeing..” 

She’s interrupted by the mans laugh.

“I’m just kidding kid, relax. Don’t mess with her though. Please.” It seems like he is more in the loop than Christen thought she thinks. Her mom must have filled him in.

“I won’t. I promise.”

 

“Hi Tobin, it’s nice to finally have you here. Chris wont shut up about you.” Her mom says as she hugs Tobin.

Christen blushes of course, so Tobin steps closer to her and packs her lips to calm her down.

“She still doesn’t talk about me as much as I talk about her with my mom, I’m sure.” She says this while looking straight to Christens eyes. She’s perfect is all Christen can think.

 

“Well you were right hunny, she is very charming.” This time it’s Tobin who blushes.

“We’re going to my room, Tobin’s gonna help me pack.” She drags Tobin upstairs, and as soon as the door of her room are closed, she’s all over Tobin.

“You’re perfect you know? You just swept both me and my mom of our feet. I want you so badly now” she trails kisses down Tobins throat. 

“Chris, your parents are downstairs, we can’t.”

“I can be quiet.” And she leads Tobins hand down her leggings and inside her underwear.

 

“Fuck, you’re wet. All this for me?” she doesn’t wait for confirmation, she starts stroking her immediately.

“You need to be really quiet, or I’ll have to stop”

“Mhm, yeah..”

She cums fast and hard. She bites Tobins shoulder to keep herself from moaning. 

 

“I can’t wait to get back to the hotel so we can fuck like adults. Tho this teenage sneaking around has it’s appeal.” She smirks as she holds Christen tight against her chest.

“Shut up and help me pack.”

 

They make out some more between packing, and before they know it its time for lunch. Of course, both of her sisters are swooning over Tobin after half an hour, being pissed at her after years of, according to them, her yanking around their sister, completely forgotten. 

 

“We’re gonna go now. Channing, you have the info about Tobins hotel, so see you there on Monday.”

They don’t leave the room at all after that, and when the time comes for Christen to leave for the airport Tobin decides to come along.

“I don’t mind riding to the airport, it will be fun.”

“Tobin, it’s an hour and a half drive in one direction.”

“Exactly, I get to spend an extra hour and a half with you. I don’t see a down side to that.”

“You’re perfect. Did I tell you that before?”

“Not today, you didn’t.”

 

When Christens plane takes off, Tobin wanders how she was ever able to be in the long distance relationship. She doesn’t remember it being this hard. Well, I guess I’ll just gonna have to suck it up, she thinks as she wonders how the fuck is she’s going to get back to Kelleys.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

 

 

_“Chris, Tobin is moping around again, you told me to tell you when it happens again”_

_“Tobin, stop moping around, and go do something fun. Go surfing baby, or longboardig, or something”_

_“I’m not moping around, I’ just chillin”_

 

“Dude stop talking to my girlfirend about me, it’s not cool”

 

_“Tobin just told me you were her girlfriend: D”_

 

_“What’s this about you telling Kelley I’m your girlfriend, I don’t remember you asking me to be?”_

 

“Kelley, you’re ruining my life dude.”

 

_“Chris, will you be my girlfriend?”_

_“Really Tobin, you’re asking me through text? I thought you were more romantic than that?”_

 

“Kelley, run. Run for your life. You just got me in trouble.”

 

_“Chris, she just threatened me.”_

_“ Stop threatening Kelley, it’s not her fault you’ve just asked me to be your girlfriend through text.”_

_“Babe, stop teasing me please. I’m moping around as it is.”_

_“Aha, so Kelley was telling the truth. Say thank you Kelley.”_

_“OK”_

“Fuck off Kelley”

 

_“Chris, she told me to fuck off”_

_“lol”_

_“Hey, it’s not funny Chris.”_

_“It kinda is”_

_“Babe, we’re just playing, of course I’m your girlfriend. Now really, stop moping around and go do something fun. I’m coming back in three days, and then we get to go to Hawaii together.”_

_“I just miss you, is all.”_

_“I miss you too.”_

_“I really miss touching you.”_

_“I miss touching you too.”_

_“I miss being inside of you.”_

_“Hey stop sexting, I’m still it the room guys.”_ This one Kelley sends to both of them.

 

_“OK, talk to you later Chris, Kell and me are gonna go surfing.”_

_“Text me when you get back.  :-*”_

 

“OMG, you guys are disgusting.” Kelley says as she makes a barf motion.

“Yeah, I know.” Tobin says while grinning.

 

 

 

When Christen comes back to LA she doesn’t expect that Tobin is going to wait for her at the airport, though she’s not completely surprised.

 

Her dad is there also; obviously they didn’t know that the other one is coming.

 

While Channing goes straight to their dad, Christen tries to walk, not to run, to Tobin. She can’t jump into her arms; they are in public after all, so she settles for a really tight, really long hug. She missed Tobins hands around her waist, she missed her smell. She missed everything about her.

 

“Hey, you’re finally here, I’ve missed you so much. You have no idea. Go say hi to your dad now.”

 

 

 

“Hey dad, I’ve missed you” she says as she gives her dad a hug.

 

“Not as much as you missed Tobin obviously.” he’s teasing her, but she blushes anyway.

 

“Lets go, my car is at the parking.”

 

“Dad, I was thinking about going with Tobin.” she’s looking at her feet now.

 

“Well, how about Tobin comes with us, since you two would be leaving in a few days anyway?”

 

“Let me just check with her”

 

Tobin’s wondering around, giving the family some privacy.

 

“Hey, my dad just suggested we all go to their house. What do you think?”

 

“Well, how about we go to hotel room I rented today, pick up my stuff, stay the night, so it doesn’t go to waste, and tomorrow we go  and stay with them?”

 

“That sounds great.”

 

“Hey dad, I’m gonna stay with Tobin tonight, but we will come tomorrow and we’ll stay till our trip to Hawaii.”

 

“OK, see you two tomorrow than. Bye Tobin.”

 

 

 

“So, now that you have me all to yourself, what are your plans?”

 

“I think you know what my plans are. The same as yours I hope.”

 

But, as it turns out, after the shower, Christen only manages to pass out on the bed. Tobin cuddles up behind her, her palm flat on Christens lower belly, and she too sleeps like an angel for the first time in ten days.

 

 

That morning is the other story though. Christen wakes up to an arm coming bellow her right shoulder, Tobins palm gripping the opposite shoulder, her forearm almost too close to Christens throat.

Tobins other hand is between Christens legs, playing with her clit.

 

“Good morning baby.” Tobin says, as Christens hips start to move in sync with Tobins fingers.

 

She is already near an orgasm, even though she’s been avake for less than a minute.

 

“I’m close Tobin. Just don’t stop.” her beck is completely pressed against Tobins front, so much so that she can barely move.

 

She feels Tobin grinding her hips against her ass, she hears Tobin moan in her ear, and after a few more strokes against her clit, she cums. Tobin doesn’t let her go though.

 

“I’ve missed you so much. I’ve just gotten used to the fact that I can touch you whenever I want. But you’re here now.”

 

“I’ve missed you too. I’ve missed you touching me. I’ve missed your smell. I missed seeing your smile.”

 

They lay in bed for a while in silence, just touching each other. There’s nothing sexual about it, it’s just gentleness and affection.

 

Christen goes down on Tobin again in the shower, thinking that that’s obviously becoming their thing.

 

 

After they get to her parents house, first thing they do after a brief chat with her mom, they take her dogs for a walk down the beach.

 

 

“So, I was thinking, after the CONCACAF, we could go and visit my mom down in Florida. I mean, I know it’s three months from now, but you know, if you think we should go sooner we can, I know you two know each other technically, but I want her to meet you as my girlfriend..”

 

“Tobs, you’re rambling again. We can go whenever you want. Don’t over think this, we’re good, you’re doing great, I’m very happy with you. Just relax, be the person everybody else has told me about, be the person I see in bedroom, when you’re on top of me, when you look like you know exactly what you’re doing. There’s no reason to think that I can’t handle you being yourself. I like your type of weird” Christen says remembering Kelleys words from more than two years ago.

 

Tobin is smiling at her, and Christen can’t remember if she ever was happier than she is at this very moment, sharing a beautiful sunset with the person she wanted to share it with for years, her dogs running around them, and Tobin looking at her like she is the most beautiful thing she ever saw.

 

 

 

“So you think I’m weird?” Tobin is teasing her, because she knows that if she doesn’t start joking around she will say something that she knows it’s too early for her to say.

 

 

“The weirdest.” Christen says as she starts running, Tobin chasing after her, and her dogs are left confused with why are people doing the shit they were supposed to do.


End file.
